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Does your mouth ever get you in trouble?
I confess that I've been convicted about this more than ever lately, especially in regards to my closest relationships - my husband and children.
In his book The Purpose and Power of Love and Marriage, Myles Munroe summarizes James' advice in James 1:19-20 in this way. "Listen first! Don't be in a hurry to talk, and even then be careful what you say and how you say it. Don't have a short fuse because explosive anger will only sabotage your spiritual growth."
As I considered this passage, I discovered 4 principles I can apply as I seek to communicate effectively with my husband.
1. Listen. Actually listen to what he's saying - not assume that I know what he's going to say or interject what I want to say, but actually focus on hearing his words. I also read in the book I referenced above that typically men say what they're thinking while women say what they're feeling. I want to know what he's thinking, so I need to listen with my full attention and all the way through until he's finished speaking.
2. Think before I speak. Isn't this age-old advice?! Once I've finished listening, I need to weigh my response before I start talking.
3. The way I speak can often be as important as the words themselves. Am I using a pleasant tone? What facial expression do I have? Am I being sarcastic? Do I look at him while we're talking?
4. Speaking in anger does not glorify God. James 1:20 says, "For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." How much better it is if we can ask God to help us respond with a "soft answer." [Proverbs 15:1]
I want to build my husband up with my words. Now that I've written this post for today, I can guarantee you that I will be tempted to fail in communicating effectively with my family today! How thankful I am that I have the Holy Spirit to help me in this area!
I fail so often when it comes to communicating with my husband. I've got to learn to think before I speak and to speak in a kind way. Thanks for the tips and the encouragement!
ReplyDeleteSuch a great reminder! I constantly have to curb my tongue and just listen to what my husband is saying. Some times repeating it back to him helps me get what he is saying, and it makes sure I am paying attention.
ReplyDeleteYes - I think it's often valuable to repeat back what our husbands say in our own words to be sure we understand what they're actually saying.
DeleteI've been working really hard on these the last couple years...but sometimes I end up frustrating JB b/c I often take TOO LONG to think before I speak. :-P He wants me to spit out a quick response, but I want to make sure my words are thoughtful & I can stand behind them. :-D
ReplyDelete